Something

by M. A

that I could not relate to:

It is awesome though to have your ex beside you and still support you no matter what shitty situation or happy moments you’ve gone through. Well, I got very big question mark inside my head. Will it be possible to do it? to stay friends, bestfriends, best supporter, spectator of our life without ‘affection’ involved with our ex(s) again? is it?

It is not that I don’t believe in it. In fact, I have an ex that turns out to be a great friend for me. I don’t really know why it happened this way. The first thing came out when he asked that “Should we make a 4 year contract being brother and sister?” since I never had any brother, I said yes. Plus, i thought it was hard for him that time to get over our ‘situation’. But it got better since 4 years ago. This is like year 5 or so I don’t know, and we’re still discussing stuff together without affection involved (as I see it).

But, i was not fell so hard that moment, so I could guarantee to be his ‘sister’. And now I’m at the point that questioning about ‘could I do this again?’. But I fall hard this time with another person I’ve known for EVER. It won’t be possible, I can’t guarantee it. I feel jealousy, affection and expectation are still here in my heart. But seeing this photo of a person that I really admire speaks louder to me. Avril’s still hanging out with her ex-husband that she was madly in love with. And she is going out with another ‘big california boyfriend’ today like in her ‘Headset’ song. It speaks hope. It speaks loud. I just wanna try my best to be the best bet for special people in my life. But yes, selfishness and impulsiveness are still here mothafucka.. hehe

Well yeah, just ignore it. Cos I ignore it.

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