Dislikes

by M. A

I know that we’re born here not only to like or to dislike things.

I know that we’re born here to pursue dreams and to cherish loves.

But I don’t know, sometimes I got dislikeness and actually I don’t really dislike it. Grey.

Greyness.  Blur..

sometimes, a spliff can get me to a cliff. where everything’s clear, describable, comparable, explorable.

I know myself too well, I know what I’m thinkin. But I don’t know what am I saying. what am I hating. what am I willing to do.

you know, I don’t really like hearing somebody to pour her minds out about romances. I loathe it (and I don’t loathe the story), but I loathe that I can’t give her a perfect perception for her story about admiration, and I can’t be in a position they wish for me to be. SO, sometimes it is hard for me to give a feed back to my girl friends. I loathe being in that position. so YOU, who know me, better think back about sharing stories about it (with me), you’ll see a person with boredom in her face. This applied to even my best best friends.

Well, wow, I just don’t have something to speak out of it. to me, romance is the same. whoever the actors are, whatever the issue is, whereever it takes place, yada yada yada. I could not say something special about it.

Is it my rockin formed heart? am I insane for not buying romances words?

girls my age, they talk about it time to time. boys my age, they talk about finding new girlfriends and datings. well I love datings, hangin out, grab a cup of coffee, watch movies, and so on. But I cannot say that I’m into believing about relationships. There was a boy, really talkin bout himsef out, “I got like 20 ex’s, I got them easily. yada yada yada”, you know what, that does not count (at all). I believe those 20 romance stories are just runaway denials. Denials that you actually only love one girl in your life, and make the other 19 as flappin tails, or it could be, you haven’t met any girl that makes you feel really understood and special and needed, and embraced. am I right? I don’t really care.. right or wrong aren’t my points. YOU HAVE TO BE NEEDED TO MAKE YOU FEEL SPECIAL.

since the title of this post is Dislikes,

yes I’m disliking myself now. I loose my sensitivity,  on careness, on politics, on environment, on people, on relationships, on new things.. I HATEEEEEE ITTT FUCK FUCK FUCK I HATEE ITTT!!!!!

arrite, that’s it.

I only need a warm night, with simple people, and a decent talk. about anything, except yes, romance.

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